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by Steven M. Harris

  • Deciding to divorce does not happen overnight, and for most couples the process is fraught with ambivalence.
  • Ambivalence is part and parcel of being in a long-term relationship. How we handle that ambivalence is what matters.

read more…

http://family-studies.org/feeling-ambivalent-about-your-marriage-so-is-everyone-else/?utm_source=IFS+Main+List&utm_campaign=72a0715501-Newsletter_95&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c06b05f1ff-72a0715501-104541745

by Anna Sutherland | @annams59

  • Parents’ behavior and example influence children’s likelihood of bullying.
  • Indirect evidence suggests good dads might be key to preventing kids from becoming bullies.

 

Read more…

http://family-studies.org/could-fathers-be-key-to-preventing-bullying/?utm_source=IFS+Main+List&utm_campaign=72a0715501-Newsletter_95&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c06b05f1ff-72a0715501-104541745

by David Lapp | @AmberDavidLapp

  • Many working-class young adults who don’t object to premarital sex still think relationships should move more slowly.
  • Many agree sex should happen in a loving relationship, but how can you tell if the love you feel is mutual?

 

read more…

http://family-studies.org/i-wanna-know-them-first-hookup-culture-one-night-stand/?utm_source=IFS+Main+List&utm_campaign=72a0715501-Newsletter_95&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c06b05f1ff-72a0715501-104541745

by Melissa Langsam Braunstein | @slowhoneybee

  • According to a new German study, parenthood is worse for personal happiness than divorce and unemployment.
  • Less happy new parents are less likely to have a second child. Is that why some nations’ fertility rates are so low?

read more…

http://family-studies.org/parenting-german-for-misery/?utm_source=IFS+Main+List&utm_campaign=72a0715501-Newsletter_95&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c06b05f1ff-72a0715501-104541745

by Laurie DeRose

When he wants to have a child and she doesn’t, who gets their way? It depends–but the answer isn’t about gender.

read more…

http://family-studies.org/who-decides-when-to-stop-how-couples-resolve-conflicts-over-childbearing/?utm_source=IFS+Main+List&utm_campaign=60864c3afc-Newsletter_94&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c06b05f1ff-60864c3afc-104541745

Catholics, Jews, and mainline Protestants have lower divorce rates than Americans of other religious backgrounds.

read more… http://family-studies.org/what-god-has-joined-together-religion-and-the-risk-of-divorce/?utm_source=IFS+Main+List&utm_campaign=60864c3afc-Newsletter_94&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c06b05f1ff-60864c3afc-104541745

Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. 1 John 3:2 (NKJV)

 

The adoption paradox in America:  Adopted children have parents who are generally well-educated and affluent. They get more time and educational resources from their adoptive parents than the average child gets from their biological parents.  At the same time, they get into more conflicts with their classmates at school, show relative little interest and enthusiasm about learning tasks, and their academic performance is barely average.

The logical question posed by Nicholas Zill in a brief study for the Institute for Family Studies[i] is, why don’t adopted children do better?  He suggests that possible reasons why family resources do not always produce great outcomes may be found in attachment theory, traumatic stress theory, and behavior genetics.  Here’s a brief explanation of each.

Attachment theory holds that a warm, intimate, and continuous relationship with at least one adult, usually the mother, is essential for the mental health of infants and young children.

According to traumatic stress theory, the likelihood of long-term emotional scars depends on the intensity and duration of the stress.

Behavior genetics is relevant because adoptive parents usually cannot choose or control the genetic endowment of the children they adopt.

It is probable all three of these theoretical perspectives play a role in the adoption paradox.  But we must underscore that none of the findings presented here is meant to minimize the priceless contribution that adoptive parents make to the children they take in.  Many adopted children do reasonably well in school and enjoy lives that are far better than they would have experienced had they not been adopted.  What’s important is that parents be realistic about what adoption can and cannot accomplish.  Given the situation in which many women with unplanned pregnancies find themselves, adoption is still a better option.

 

Father, thank you for adopting us, and for being our loving Father.

[i] http://family-studies.org/the-paradox-of-adoption/?utm_source=IFS+Main+List&utm_campaign=66313a9b30-Newsletter_101&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c06b05f1ff-66313a9b30-104541745

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