And Jesus answered and said to them, “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage. Luke 20:34 (NKJV)
Skye Cleary,[i] writes ten questions that German philosopher Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche would have you consider before you get married:
- Can you hold decent conversations? Marry someone intellectually interesting to you. “Everything else in marriage is transitory, but most of the time you are together will be devoted to conversation.” Human, All Too Human
In The Adventist Home we find these words: “There are persons who have for some time made a profession of religion who are, to all intents and purposes, without God and without a sensitive conscience. They are vain and trifling; their conversation is of a low order. Courtship and marriage occupy the mind, to the exclusion of higher and nobler thoughts.”[ii]
- Are you sexually attracted to each other? Imagine what each other will look like in twenty years. “Sometimes it requires only a stronger pair of spectacles to cure the lover, and he who had the imagination to picture a face, a figure twenty years older would perhaps pass through life very undisturbed.” Human, All Too Human
Sexual or outward attraction should not be a determining factor in choosing a future mate. “Children and youth who devote time and means to make themselves objects of attraction by outward display and affected manners are not working in the right direction. They need to cultivate true, Christian politeness and nobility of soul. . . . The beauty of mind, the purity of the soul, revealed in the countenance, will have more power to attract and exert an influence upon hearts than any outward adorning.”[iii]
For a relationship to develop there must be some attraction, what many today might refer to as “chemistry.” If you are not attracted physically to the other person, there may come a time where they will find someone else attractive and distract them and pursue them.
Father God, help me to keep these two areas in mind as I consider who I may have a relationship with. If I ignore these two areas, I could be setting the stage for future discontent.
[i] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/skye-cleary/10-essential-questions-to_b_7699300.html
[ii] White, E.G. The Adventist Home, p. 51
[iii] White, E.G., My Life Today, p. 123
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