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Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

Conflict is a very natural part of life and of every relationship. Because everyone is different, there’s bound to be a time when they disagree and conflict may arise. Conflict in and of itself is not bad; it’s how we handle conflict that could determine whether the relationship breaks up or if it lasts for a lifetime of love and good memories.

 

Peace does not necessarily mean the absence of conflict but rather that conflict is being managed appropriately. Ignoring or avoiding conflict generally leads to bitterness and resentment which generally leads to feeling less love and even hatred. And when you get to that point, it is very difficult to find any good reason to stay together.

 

The psalmist wrote, “For the sake of my family and friends, I say it again: live in peace!” Psalm 122:8 (MSG)

 

Learn to manage your conflict in such a way that you will find positive, workable solutions which will be satisfactory to all of you. Ask yourself, “What difference will this make in three days? In three years? In thirty years? Learn to live in Peace.

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Today’s word elicits very negative feelings for many. Mothers-in-law have been the subjects of countless jokes, none of them very flattering to them.

 

Pam and I were blessed with good mothers-in-law. We got along well with them, we loved them and they loved us, they respected our private space, and we miss them both dearly.

 

Perhaps the best example of a good relationship with the mother-in-law is that between Ruth and Naomi. When Naomi wanted to go back home to Israel she told her daughters-in-law to go back to their own home. But Ruth told her mother-in-law: “Please don’t tell me to leave you and return home! I will go where you go, I will live where you live; your people will be my people, your God will be my God. I will die where you die and be buried beside you. May the LORD punish me if we are ever separated, even by death!” Ruth 1:16-17 (CEV)

 

Are you, as a Mother-in-law, respectful, unselfish, and loving toward your children’s spouse? I pray that you may be a blessing to them, rather than the target of unpleasant jokes.

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Introverted Partner? 5 Things to Know

If your partner is an introvert, you’ve probably noticed that their idea of a good time is a bit different than yours. While you – as an extrovert – more often prefer a party, your partner would usually rather stay home for quiet evening as a couple. You are energized by social activities; your partner, on the other hand, is energized by time spent alone. To keep this difference from leading to misunderstandings, it’s a good idea to understand how introverts see the world.

 

Read more: http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relationships/2016/03/introverted-partner-5-things-to-know.html?ecd=wnl_sxr_040916&ctr=wnl-sxr-040916_nsl-promo-2_title&mb=K2VcbkxhrhREAZ5zC2UpheHnVev1imbCHYS8QQY8uqo%3d

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Introverted Partner? 5 Things to Know

If your partner is an introvert, you’ve probably noticed that their idea of a good time is a bit different than yours. While you – as an extrovert – more often prefer a party, your partner would usually rather stay home for quiet evening as a couple. You are energized by social activities; your partner, on the other hand, is energized by time spent alone. To keep this difference from leading to misunderstandings, it’s a good idea to understand how introverts see the world.

Read more: http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relationships/2016/03/introverted-partner-5-things-to-know.html?ecd=wnl_emw_041316&ctr=wnl-emw-041316_nsl-promo-1_title&mb=K2VcbkxhrhREAZ5zC2UpheHnVev1imbCHYS8QQY8uqo%3d

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As a divorce mediator for many years, I thought I was more prepared than anyone for what lay ahead as I faced my own divorce. Well, I was wrong! Here are some of the things no one told me, which I learned from going through it — and coming out on the other side.

Read more: http://www.today.com/health/10-things-i-wish-i-d-known-getting-divorced-t82321?cid=eml_tes_20160416

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When you’re in a relationship with someone, you are bound to get upset with that person at least occasionally. Sometimes, not wanting to offend them, you let the issue go. But other times, you may really want to say something – either because you are so hurt or angry, or because there is a recurring problem that you need to address. It’s important to speak up – but how you do so can mean the difference between solving the problem and making it worse.

 

Read more: http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relationships/2016/04/need-to-bring-up-a-problem-heres-how.html?ecd=wnl_sxr_041616&ctr=wnl-sxr-041616_nsl-promo-2_title&mb=K2VcbkxhrhREAZ5zC2UpheHnVev1imbCHYS8QQY8uqo%3d

 

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by Steven M. Harris

  • Deciding to divorce does not happen overnight, and for most couples the process is fraught with ambivalence.
  • Ambivalence is part and parcel of being in a long-term relationship. How we handle that ambivalence is what matters.

read more…

http://family-studies.org/feeling-ambivalent-about-your-marriage-so-is-everyone-else/?utm_source=IFS+Main+List&utm_campaign=72a0715501-Newsletter_95&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c06b05f1ff-72a0715501-104541745

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‘I Wanna Know Them First’

by David Lapp | @AmberDavidLapp

  • Many working-class young adults who don’t object to premarital sex still think relationships should move more slowly.
  • Many agree sex should happen in a loving relationship, but how can you tell if the love you feel is mutual?

 

read more…

http://family-studies.org/i-wanna-know-them-first-hookup-culture-one-night-stand/?utm_source=IFS+Main+List&utm_campaign=72a0715501-Newsletter_95&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c06b05f1ff-72a0715501-104541745

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A complete single

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 1 Corinthians 7:8 (NKJV)

 

Christopher, a young, divorced man told David Lapp[i], “You have to be a secure person, a full person.”  Christopher loved to drink and party, but vowed that he would be a functioning alcoholic.  His wife, Cammi, always said that she would change him, but when it came to alcohol and partying, nobody was about to change him…alcoholism tore his marriage apart.

When Lapp interviewed Christopher, he had been divorced from Cammi for about a year, but after attending Alcoholic Anonymous he “found God.”  As he reflected on his past, he thinks that both he and Cammi entered marriage with deep insecurities. He also thinks that they moved too fast in their relationship: they had sex soon after meeting each other, which, “fueled our relationship to continue.”

As he reflects on his marriage and divorce, he believes that you need to be emotionally “complete” as a person before you enter marriage.  As he says, “You have to be a secure person, a full person. I think really you have to have God in your life and you have to live that life.”

We know that marriage brings a number of benefits in its train – better health, sex, and finances, among others.  The question is, what are the limits of those benefits, particularly for people with traumatic childhood experiences?  According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study of over 17,000 people, almost two-thirds of participants reported at least one “adverse childhood experience,” like physical abuse, a household member’s mental illness, or parental separation or divorce (the study identifies ten). More than one in five people reported at least three adverse experiences.

If we are the result of our upbringing, you need to pay attention to such things like your and your future spouse’s physical and mental health, your faith, character and personality, your finances, and so much more.  In other words, be sure you are a healthy and complete person.

 

Father God, help me be a complete person instead of looking to be complete in marriage, by somebody else.

[i] http://family-studies.org/for-marriage-to-work-you-have-to-be-a-secure-person/?utm_source=IFS+Main+List&utm_campaign=32b7a47f24-Newsletter_103&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c06b05f1ff-32b7a47f24-104541745

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Dating your type

And he had a choice and handsome son whose name was Saul. There was not a more handsome person than he among the children of Israel. From his shoulders upward he was taller than any of the people. 1 Samuel 9:2 (NKJV)

 

What is your type?  Tall, dark and handsome. Blonde and athletic with a great sense of humor. Quiet and book-smart.  You might think that having a certain kind of person in mind can be like having a road map to a happy future as part of a couple.  You might even find that looking for someone with a specific set of traits can be exciting.  The question is whether focusing on a particular type of person the best strategy for trying to find a serious romantic partner?  But that may not be not necessarily true.

Leslie Becker-Phelps[i], of WebMD, writes, “People sometimes find that dating their type is a disaster. A common example of this is women who are attracted to ‘bad boys’ who are exciting, but also can’t sustain an intimate relationship.”

The fact is that finding someone who you believe to be your type isn’t as important as finding a partner who is not only attractive to you, but who is also able to nurture a fulfilling relationship with you.  Becker-Phelps suggests that instead of hunting down your type, you should think about your personal values and priorities in life:

  • How important is it for you that your partner shares your religious values?
  • Do your desires for a family and beliefs about how to raise children mesh?
  • Do you agree on the balance of buying things and saving money?

We hope these types of considerations may change your whole approach to dating. You may end a relationship with someone that you are attracted to because you don’t like how they treat you, or you may decide to give someone else more of a chance, because you connect well on so many other important levels.

Father God, so many aspects of life are so much more important than just looks.  Help me to see others as you see them.

[i] http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relationships/2015/11/does-looking-for-your-type-help-or-hurt.html?ecd=wnl_men_112815&ctr=wnl-men-112815_nsl-promo-4_title&mb=K2VcbkxhrhREAZ5zC2UpheHnVev1imbCHYS8QQY8uqo%3d

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